My Dick's So Big its Retarded

http://shimonatime.blogspot.com/2009/02/how-retarded-goes-she-look.html

I really don't know.

My Dick is so big I can't answer all of it's questions anymore. And apparently it can print.

But Daddy I want it!

My Dick is so big these guys make the sweet stuff.

If you give My Dick a cookie...

My Dick is so big it is the second most dangerous mammal in Africa.

¡Voy a conseguirle!

My Dick is so big it just told me it was 'going to get me' in spanish.

Chiefed

My Dick is so big it passed out with it's shoes on and can't get this shit off.

My Dick is Coming! My Dick is Coming!

My Dick is so big an unavoidable side effect of my climax is Godzilla climbing out and punishing Japan.

Crazy Hot Dog Vendor

My dick is so big it's giving away lunch boxes at tonight's game. Gates open at 6 p.m.

Awesome Penis Arm

My dick's so big that last night it woke me up, punched me in the face and told me a knock-knock joke. I wasn't even upset, it was a good joke. We laughed and laughed...

What's That, Daddy?

My dick's so big it's not all fun and games.

Nobody's Bored in this Room

My dick's so big it comes with two-dozen leather chairs and a speakerphone.

It's okay man

My Dick is so big it apologized about those photos on the internet.

When two grown-ups love each other...

My Dick is so big it just sat me down for "The Talk". It was so embarrassing.

Shit or get off the pot

My Dick is so big he has done more by breakfast than most people do all day.

2 in the pink...

My Dick is so big it Multi-tasks.

One Man Show

My Dick is so big he has a Tony Award.

Magnum

My Dick is so big it's like bringing a gun to a knife fight.

Deep Dickin'

My Dick is so big it banged Mother Earth. My dick loves MILF's.

Pass Go, Collect 200 Dollars

My Dick is so big it has an oyster dish named after it.

Show me some leg

My Dick is so big the Rockettes open for him every Christmas season. All of 'em. At once.

You Jiving Me?

My dick's so big it speaks seven languages and they all end in -ish, except Jive.

Total Eclipse of My Dick

My dick's so big it blocks out the sun 2-5 times per year.

Catch this

My dick's so big it eats apples like most people eat grapes.

Napolean - Huge Dick

My dick is so big Napolean built the Arc de Triomphe so I could play a quick game of Jenga.

My Dick's Humane Society

My dick is so big it has an adoption center.

B.Y.O.Cancer

My dick's so big it cures cancer. Unfortunaitely, it also causes it.

Non-stop to China; and Back. Just for the Ride.

My Dick is so big it has 2 aisles.

It's going to get whacked

My Dick is so big that its over-stepped its territory and the other families have decided to to put a hit on My Dick.

Safety: the only thing that comes before the lady.

My Dick is so big I have to wear bullet proof underpants.

Toni, you're fired.

My Dick is so big Caesar's Palace just signed him to a five year entertainment deal. It's in the twelve figures.

Do you take checks?

My Dick is so big he carries a Publisher's Clearing House size checkbook.

My Dick's Kids

My Dick is so big he hosts a telethon every year to help out all his under-privileged bastard children.

all hands on dick

My Dick is so big an idiot, a skipper, a millionaire and is wife, a movie star, a professor, and Maryanne got lost on a three hour tour of it.

I wanna put my...

My Dick is so big it likes to whisper sweet nothings in your ear before he kisses you gently on the neck.

University of My Dick

My Dick's so big that it is now offering online courses. Enrollment begins July 1st.

Streaker

My Dick is so big it wears shoes and a cape and owns an airhorn.

I swear it's real.

My Dick is so big it won Wrestlemania five times and retired while he was still on top. My Dick loves being on top.

Fire Torpedos!

My Dick is so big it's seamen sleep in bunkbeds.

Bigger, Faster, Stronger

My Dick is so big it holds nine Guiness World Records, including this one.

Fuck you, Bill Gates!

My Dick is so big the Crown Prince of Dubai is converting it into the world's largest yacht.


Also, the Crown Prince of Dubai looks like a penis. Not mine, but I'm sure somebody's.

Do not pass GO! Do not collect $200.

My dick is so big it has 2 hotels on it and cost $1450 in rent.

The Wynn, Las Vegas

My Dick is so big it took $2.7 billion to build and only 18 months to pay back the investors.

The Clock Tower

My Dick's so big that its bell, Big Ben (first erected in 1858), was cracked by My Dick's tremendous accoustics.

Lay Back and Relax

My Dick is so big Lazy Boy (R) made a lounge chair modeled after it. Its called the Lazy Dick and it is 8 feet tall, flacid.

John McEnroe

My dick's so big it won 3 singles titles and 4 doubles titles at Wimbledon.

Oh Snap!

My Dick is so big it makes your dick look like this.

Runs on premium

My Dick is so big, 53,000 people a year apply for the co-pilot position. Look it up, Kama Sutra, page 87.

That's just obnoxious

My Dick is so big he dresses his nuts up in special little sweaters. He calls them 'sweasties'.

Late-night Frosty

My Dick is so big it spits snowmen.

Octopussy

My Dick is so big pro-choicers have to go to extreme lengths to exercise their rights.

Doubt it.

My Dick's so big it closed Pandora's Box.

Box seat

My Dick is so big China built an ergo-nomically correct seat just to get him to come.

Right after nap time

My Dick is so big he fingerpainted this.

Envy looks good on him

Mt Dick is so big it loves this little guy.

Tree of Life

My dick's so big, it has thousands of nuts and these little bastards won't stop taking them.

Also, what is up with the nipples on this varmint?

Oprah Knows

My Dick is that big.

My Dick, the Coyote

My dick's so big it was recently arrested for illegal human trafficking. Ironicly, no bail was requested and my dick is under house arrest. There is no prison large enough to house my dick.

Drive 55

My dick's so big it has a speed limit.

Dickhattan

My dick is so big that the term highway, coined by the late Robert Moses, is one of the many Dutch words for my dick.

It Eats Peyote

My dick's so big, the elders of the Salt River Pima Maricopa Indian Community named it Sun Dial.

"Put some sails on that mast!"

My dick's so big drawbridges open when I do the backstroke.

Herzog On My Dick

My dick is so big it is the feature of the film Encounters At The End Of The World.

House of Girth

My dick is so big this lady thinks she's sitting on a five-post bed.

Golden Shower

My Dick is so big my sperm is about to sting the shit out of that guy.

Is that how you want it?

My Dick is so big many women would swear it can talk.